Moving to MySpace

I know, I've kept this blog for a long, long time, but I've been coerced by the forces of darkness to move to MySpace to keep my online diary, but I'll probably double post both for awhile 'til I get bored with it. Anyway my link is http://www.myspace.com/jonfishonline so make sure to update your links and add me to your friends. I'll see you all there!

~Peace out

Meet our friend Bacadri

Mood: Relaxed
TV: CSI

Okay, to everyone that may have recieved a very strange instant message from me last night, don't worry, there are two good reasons for it: 1) I was drunk and 2) It probably wasn't me anyway.

Me and my friend Erin decided that since we were stuck in Knoxville during spring break (well, for the second half of it anyway) we could at least pretend we were on vacation in the sunny Bahamas. 1800mL of Bacadri Gold and a fifth of tequila later, we were very much on vacation.

Anyway, she decides it'll be fun to drunkenly instant message everyone currently online on my buddy list. See, she doesnt use IM, so she has fun using mine and taking to my friends.

Anyway, it was good fun, and I haven't been that drunk in a looong time. So we're gonna do it again tonight. But I promise that this time I'll try to keep the keyboard out of her hands heh.

In other news, I had a great time at NCState and Florida State and I'm really looking forward to seeing Texas A&M next week. Now I just gotta find the motivation to finish out the school year lol. I'll have a full update on my grad school visits when I get back from Texas.

Okay, I think I'm about done. Time to go buy more Bacardi. Talk to ya later!

~Peace

On vacation...?

Mood: Exuberant
Music: Foo Fighters

Hey all, just thought I'd check in one last time before my trip. I'm leaving tomorrow to head out and visit grad schools. The pay for TAs sucks, but thats pretty much par for the course. They tell ya it's only 20 hours a week, in which case the pay would friggin' rock, but you'd have to be dumb to believe it heh. Ah well, I'm just happy I got offered funding anywhere, I dunno how I'd pay for it otherwise.

First I'm heading to Raleigh, NC, to visit the North Carolina State University Department of Sociology and Anthropology. NCSU is having all their recruits come down on Thursday and they're flying us in from all over the country. We have a meeting with the department head that evening, then we get the night off and are taken out on the town by some of the grad students. Friday we have an informal breakfast with the whole department, followed by a talk about teaching and and current research at NCSU. Then it's lunch with the grad students, followed by one-on-ones with professors in our prospective research fields and the department head. That night we're going to one of the professor's homes for dinner with the entire department.

After all that, I wake up Saturday morning, head back to Knoxville, repack and get ready to get on a plane the next morning to Tallahassee where I get to do it all again at the Florida State University Department of Sociology (I know, plugging the departments, but hey, I think I have a right to be proud). This one isn't structured, I just told 'em when I'd be down and who I'd like to meet with and they set it all up. I plan to rent a car while I'm down there and take Sunday and Monday nights touring the city and going down to the beach. Should be a good trip.

Then I get to relax for about a week or so til the Texas A&M University Sociology Department flies me out to Middle of Nowhere, USA (aka College Station, Texas). And I'm not kidding. Look at where this place is:

See? It's a hundred miles from everything! There's about 120,000 people who live there, and 40,000 of them go to Texas A&M (as opposed to Knoxville, for example, who has over 320,000 people in the greater area, and only 22,000 attending UT).

Anyway, I don't really know what the plan is there. They're having everyone come down at the same time, too, but that's about all I know. But one good thing is that one of my best friends, John Garrison, is down there earning his doctorate in Computer Engineering right now, so I look forward to hanging out with him for a few days.

Oh yeah, I'm also going to make sure to visit the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library while im down there too. Maybe I can get a better understanding of the evil currently residing in the White House by learning more about the seed that spawned him. Ugh...

Anyway, that's about enough I think. Wish me luck and I'll report back sometime after I'm home. Have a great spring break all, and I'll see ya in a couple weeks!

~Peace

Friendship

I know, I'm rarely serious on this thing anymore, and thats how most of ya like it, but dammit, this is my journal and I get to say whatever the hell I want and I wanna be serious for once dammit!

(Oh, that's real good Jon, yell at the readers. I'm sure that'll help. Anyway...)

I hope she doesn't mind my telling her story, cause I know she reads this thing and I don't wanna embarass her, but I gotta share, I know she'll understand. I promise to be as detail-free as possible. ;) Alright, enough talkin', lets get to the story.



Today, I learned what true friendship is.

I've known this girl for years. She's probably my best friend. But something happened between us. We dated for awhile, and I just chickened out. Things were uncomfortable, but they continued, at least til' I just made a huge mistake and totally screwed this girl over. I mean I had been absolutely, 100%, totally wrong. In actuality, she didn't even know how truly wrong I had been.

We hadn't spoken for over a week, but what I'd done to her ate me up inside. I called her today and we talked. I confessed everything to her because I was feeling so bad that I wanted her scorn, her anger. I felt like I deserved it.

But she didn't get angry. Instead, she hugged me and said "I forgive you."

I forgive you.

Thank you, Erin. You have no idea how much that meant to me.

PS Congrats on med school, babe!

Fun with Google

Mood: Amused
Location: Starbucks

Most of you have probably heard by now, but if you haven't, everyone go to Google and type in "failure" and click the button that says "I'm feeling lucky" (it takes you to the #1 Google hit for that search query). Anyway, here's what comes up:


Now that's funny. The White House's official George W. Bush bio. Love those guys at Google. Anyway, I found a couple others. Try this one: go to Google and type in "French Military Victories" in quotes and click "I'm feeling lucky" again. Check it out:

There were NO results for "french military victories." Did you mean "french military defeats?" Wow that's great.

Here's one. Go type in "mentalplex" and follow the instructions. it's pretty funny.

Oh, if you've ever wondered how Google works, type in "pigeon rank" and see what happens.

They're also hiring for new jobs, like their new moon-based endeavor. Check out "lunar job" for more.

"Giant lava lamps filled with biomass suspended in seawater generate oxygen for the complex."

Alright last one. Go click on "Language Tools" beside the search bar on Google's main page. Look very closely at your choices:

That's right, if your first languages happens to be "Elmer Fudd," "Hacker," "Pig Latin," or "Klingon," Google has you covered. They even have a translator for the Muppet Show's Sweedish Chef: "Bork, bork, bork!"

Alright, I'm done goofing off now. Heh, I'm just in one of those weird, easily amused moods I guess. I'm just excited about getting to visit grad schools this week that I can't really think about anything else. Anyway, time to get some real work done I suppose. Talk to ya later!

~Peace

Accepted: TA&M

Where: Texas A&M University - College Station, Texas
National Rank: 49th best Sociology program in the nation.
Personal Rank: Tied for 4th
Program: Master of Science in Sociology enroute to Ph.D.
Funded: Decisions not yet made.

Well this was the one good thing to happen to me on an otherwise horrible day. They'll be flying me out there at the end of this month along with the other potential grads to tour the department and meet the faculty, so I look for ward to it. One side benefit about TAMU is that John, one of my best friends who I grew up with, is already down there studying for his doctorate in computer engineering, so it'll be great to get to spend time with him, too, and maybe earn our grad degrees together.

The Ultimate Showdown

The Ultimate Shodown of Ultimate Destiny

This thing was so funny I almost cried I was laughing so hard. It also demands Chuck Norris jokes, so without further ado:

-Chuck norris can divide by zero.
-Chuck Norris wears condoms inside out do that he gets all of the pleasure.
-Chuck Norris’ is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-And the 8th seal was opened, and the eighth angel sounded his trumpet, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Dragon back into the Pit.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris doesn't need the fire department. He just glares menacingly at the fire and it stops.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Roundhouse kick related deaths shot up 136,000% the year Chuck Norris was born.
-Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
-The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
-There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
-When mortals rub two sticks together, we get fire. When Chuck Norris rubs two sticks together, we get Christianity."
-Waldo is always hiding because if Chuck Norris finds him...well...those two just never got along.
-Wu Tang Clan's "In The Hood" is based on Chuck Norris' and Moses' seven year long kung fu duel.
-The highest degree of Masonry is Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris once fought God. Who won? Well, people are still trying to find God, and Chuck Norris is on a perpetual worldwide victory lap. They say Nietzsche was born that day.
-Chuck Norris can fly. This is due in large part to the fact that gravity doesn't fuck with Chuck Norris.
-Many people think that the dinosaurs were killed off by a giant meteor. If by "meteor" you mean "Chuck Norris," then yes, you are correct.
-Chuck Norris doesn't need a pill to maintain a 72 hour erection.
-Megahertz was originally a measure of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
-Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
-Chuck Norris beat the Harlem Globetrotters.
-Chuck Norris can beat a man to death using that man's own skull. How this is physically possible, nobody knows.
-Jesus was actually born in the year 6 BCE. The year we celebrate as the birth of Jesus is, in actuality, the year Chuck Norris was born to a virgin.
-Chuck Norris has had sex with every woman on earth. Period.
-Einstein proved his Theory of Relativity when he was roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris into yesterday.
-Chuck Norris invented MacGuyver our of a spork, some thread, and a head of lettuce.
-Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris has never cried.
-On the seventh day, God rested. On the 8th day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God for being a pussy.
-If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one is anywhere around, rest assured that Chuck Norris heard it.
-Global Warming has increased ten-fold since the cancellation of "Walker: Texas Ranger."
-Chuck Norris sweats Axe body spray.
-Chuck Norris won the Vietnam War for America. The liberal media simply distorted the facts.
-George Bush asks God for advice. God asks Chuck Norris. Therefore, Chuck Norris is our president.
-Chuck Norris will never die. He will simply become one with the Force.
-Chuck Norris is the only person alive to have successfully outwitted Sccoby Doo and the Mystery Machine.
-Michael Jackson's affinity for young boys is a side effect of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the blackness out of him. Chuck couldn't stand the idea of being the same race as Michael Jackson.
-The only thing worse than Chuck Norris with a gun is Chuck Norris without a gun.
-The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42. The question is "Chuck Norris."
-Some historians believe "Missing In Action" is actually a documentary about Chuck Norris' capture by the Vietnam army. Right, as if some pussy army could capture Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris plays soccer with bowling balls.
-Chuck Norris invented the Total Body Workout Machine to help the Egyptians build the Pyramids.
-Chuck Norris did not grow a beard. Rather, Chuck Norris' beard grew a body.
-Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the doctor who tried to spank him when he was born.
-Like an eclipse, staring directly at Chuck Norris can cause damage to the retina.

And finally:
-The continued existence of all creation revolves solely on Chuck Norris and Bill Brasky never meeting. Should the two every engage in combat, reality as we know it would cease to be.

Alright, 'nuff Chuck Norris jokes. Time for sleep.
~Peace